[无题]

已经好久好久想要讲这一堆了，

但每次有机会好像讲也讲不完

离开后总觉得漏了一些还没提的

**********************************

认识了几久？

算算也蛮久了吧

总算有点感情

走过了不少的路

越过了不少的荆棘

想回去，

我想保存这份友谊，也保存得非常辛苦

怎么辛苦，我猜你应该知道

很多次，你说不要做朋友

我还傻傻地跑去跟你道歉

现在

我总算是聪明了

我不要再玩你的游戏

给你机会

说实话，我要你的道歉

我觉得等你是在浪费我的时间而已

很明显

你太胆小了

早知道

我应该不能拥有太高的期望

胆小的你...是不能靠的

算了

给了你时间

机会

你不要争取

也就算了

算我看错人了吧

反正你也不稀罕这友谊

就散掉它吧

新的一年，新的一开始

本来以为可以不用再见到你

看情况，好像是还可以

恭喜你了

不过我

依然  不想玩你的游戏

这份友谊      是你自己毁坏的

***************************************

Some wounds never heal, they just keep bleeding; 

Some people never change, they just keep hurting.

18th

1812~

Somehow....it really didn't have the feel of a concert

we just played our songs

and before the concert we played our band song...

and all the s3s cried...

it seemed as though my tears were used up that afternoon

and midway through NYJC's performance

I suddenly felt that it was the last time we were performing with Joyce

somehow it all came crashing down on me

and I cried....a tear  

anticlimax

and the people around me thought I was some sort of mad psycho

I always feel sad at the weirdest times

like, the times where I'm NOT supposed to be sad

must be the hormones

*****************************************

on an angrier note

we came very early in the morning to move platforms ( and my shin got banged thanks to an overexcited mover)

and this bunch of idiots were just sitting there

there, on the seats that we already arranged

and they just looked on and on

at the show

and chit chit chatted

hey guys

I suppose just because you are seniors and stuff, you guys aren't supposed to do any crude work?

instead you just sit there and moan later about how late we are and how our rehersal is delayed?

well, I supposed it never crossed your puny, high-classed minds that maybe, just maybe if you moved your delicate fingers and actually helped us move some chairs...

we might be able to start earlier?

just a thought, guys

or maybe

this is some form of our band's hierarchy?

I supposed the term 'good times are for sharing, hard times are for working together' has gone out of date

and fashion plated, materialistic, double-standard people are in?

******************************************************

1812

a concert that shows how wonderful our band is

17th

World Taekwondo Federation

is another way of saying: WTF!!!!!!!!

WTF has happened on the 17th??!!

the morning was considerably normal...had breakfast with Wanjie and Joyce (and mum^^) at McD.

Arrived 10 mins late to school, but what's new?

set off around 8:30 am to SMK Sri Kembangan

reached there around 9:30 am

met their French horns

went for sectional practice

played songs

got criticized  (bAAd)

lunch

sectionals with NYJC

learnt alot of stuff

big band

****************

....erm and if you look closely.....

you will notice that there was no competition

!!!!

[confusion]

but anyway we had a interesting 交流  with SK & NYJC

guess we'll have to wait for the reappearance of the mysterious wind art cup competition...

Nervous Breakdown

ok...the title is a lie...I'm not breakdown-ing yet

maybe tomorrow morning

because 

tomorrow

is

the

day

of

the

管艺杯!!!!     which, directly translated, means wind art cup....o0

anyways

deeeeep breaths/////

I'm actually feeling really calm now....before the storm

and all the nervousness is going to come in an express FedEx package in kickass large porportions early tomorrow morning

go  HHSB!!!!!!!!!!        Gambatte!!!!    

     

   

 

Decisions....Confused

Today I was playing with Zhi Qi's tumpet, and it brought back this question I've been pondering for a very very long time....Should I go back to trumpet?

Blast from the Past-- When I was in primary school (not too long ago ><)

I was one of the 'leftovers' that were shoved into percussion...until my class/band teacher said that girls weren't allowed in percussion, which was a big pile of bushido because she was a percussionist herself (!!)

So...the unfortunate me was pushed into clarinet...which was really enjoyable ^^ 

I loved my days in clarinet...I actually could play 'Mary Had a Little Lamb'...albeit out of tune

Until due to a communication breakdown and recover (whatever that means) by a twist of fate I entered trombone, and stayed there.   And played more than 'Mary Had a Little Lamb'

In sec school I was in trumpet until I was switched to ------>  French Horn =)

Story Of My Life.   (I even underlined the important points! ^^)

ok back to the present

It's really weird, it's not like I really miss clarinet, trombone, or percussion as much as I miss the trumpet, although occasionally I do

the point is

sometimes, the coward side of me wants to switch back to trumpet, where the grass is green, the sun is shining etc. and I don't have any embouchure/tounging problems

but on the other hand I want to take the bull by the horns (appropriate proverb!) and train myself to overcome all my french horn problems...and succeed!  ;)

!!

my ever-supportive parents are like ' just choose whatever you're happy with, my dear.....BUT we will prefer if you choose something like trumpet, or best, saxophone because it is more popular'

err.....'k mum and dad

horn or trumpet?

decisions

;(

aihz

****************************************************************************************

There's a saying: A trumpet player thinks that he is God; A French horn player IS God      ;]

Band Camp, Sausages and Throbbing Foot

14/12 

is the last day of band camp

I think I've developed muscles in both my arms....= =

temporary ones at least

anyway I'm glad that I could fulfill some resolutions

1) make more friends

2) treat people like the way I want to be treated  (which actually just got me bullied....so that's a bad thing = =)

3) patch things up with my beloved Mr. Y

mostly I think I'm really jealous of Mr. Y, and having treated Mr. Y badly for quite some time...I'm really guilty and I think I've been really childish...I'm sorry Mr. Y      luv ya! ;)

serious stuff aside....(or is it mushy stuff)

when I got back all I did was eat, shower, and just crank up the music on my mp3 and read some Dorian Gray until I fell asleep with my hair wet.

Strangely....I feel as though one month has passed since the 林莲玉 performance...it's only been a day

Guess that's what happens when you go through alot

and it's repeated next year

I'm lovin' it

Band Camp, Sausages and Throbbing Foot

13/12

I was awakened by my sis so early that the frogs and cicadas haven't even begun making their racket yet = = 

{and when I looked into the mirror, I could see through my sleep-hazed eyes that my lips had swelled to the size of a sausage....omg....checked on the bruise, throbbing like mad....[whine whine whine] but...the show must go on}

so we could go and perform at the 林莲玉 memorial

my dad, being my dad, didn't allow us to follow the bus to the destination (Hokkien Cementary in The-Middle-Of-Nowhere) because the band was leaving at 6am.

so we drove on and on...in the end we got the directions from some person working in a coffin shop = = and the people there were like 'omg who are these psychos coming here so early in the morning lets just hurry away with scared looks on our faces' which they did.

in the end we saw some scouts (!!) and they directed us...and they turned out to be from Confucius High

Darn it, for a moment I thought our school's scouts were so efficient.

and when we got there...

surprise surprise!

we were early = =

the entire band+choir were LOST

wow

and I remembered what the teacher-in-charge said to me when I asked him for the address

'I don't really know the place myself, but I'm sure the bus driver knows the way. Why don't you just follow the bus? I know your parents are english educated, they sure won't understand the directions.'

well, In Your Face my dear teacher because my 'non-Chinese-speaking', 'English Educated' parents managed to get us there miles earlier than your trusted bus driver.  =/

nothing much about the performance...really hot...and the songs we played were really...crap

when we got back, I fell asleep in the air conditioned, classical music playing band room  =)

****************************************************

for practice we met the talented Nonami-sensei

He went through our 3 performance songs

and...what can I say 

I just think that we weren't very disciplined? 

Because we just kept repeating the same mistakes over and over...

anyways

HHSB Gambatte!   >=]

Finally found out how to solve the tounging problem ^^

no more sleepless nights....lol

practice practice practice!!!

Band Camp, Sausages and Throbbing Foot

12~14/12 was HHSB's band camp

12/12

due to some unfortunate accident, I had the front part of my right foot crushed by a metal canteen bench. Ow

practice was ok...what I love best (aside from playing songs) is hanging out with my group members ^^

evening time is usually the loneliest time for me during band camp 'cuz I'm the black sheep who doesn't stay in the school like the rest of the band :[   but I spent my time with the girls in room 2 who were great fun and company! ^^

at night the alumni of HHSB paid us a delightful visit...it's a great feeling to see people coming from the first year that the band was established etc.etc.  also to hear about the band's history...hopefully a few years later I will be able to see more improvement in our band  ;)

went home, showered, slept like a rock

felt really depressed 'cause of the sound quality+tounging problem T^T

checked my foot when I got home, found this kickass large, throbbing, purple bruise 

mum said put serai oil on it   o0???

apparently not only can serai oil ward off mosquitoes, it can also heal wounds and bruises and stuff...the wonders of serai oil!!

Tagged!!! -->by Feli

You -
First Name :    [it's confidential]
Nickname : CJ
Name you wish you had :  [also confidential]
What do people normally mistake your name for :  a guy's name
Birthday :  someday in the middle of the year
Birthplace :  Selangor
Time of Birth : Midnight
Single or taken : Single and lovin' it
Zodiac sign :Gemini

- Your Appearance -
How tall are you : somewhere between 150~180 cm
Wish you were taller : every day = =
Eye colour : Dark chocolate brown~  O_O
Eye colour you want :  amethyst   =]
Natural Hair color : Black+ Dbrown
Current Hair color : same as above
Short or long hair : long
Ever dye your hair a bizarre color : nope  I luv mah hair color!
Last time you did something dramatic with your hair : cut my fringe  (and regretted it! ><) Glasses or contacts :20/20  babeh!!

Do you wear make-up : errr no accept for the occasional something something...... o_0...

Ever had hair extensions : Definately  not.

Paint your nails :toenails!

- In the Opposite Gender -
What color eyes : does it really matter if you're in love?

What color hair : refer above.

Shy or Outgoing : Outgoing.  and a little shy at times  ><

Sexy or Cute : Both.

Serious or Fun :  Both at correct times

Older or Younger than you : Older.

A turn on : [secret....ssh =)] 

A turn off : oh this could take ages to type I'll just spare the misery

- This or That -
Flowers or Chocolates :Roses and Godiva!!!
Pepsi or Coke :  Coke and Pepsi Twist
Rap or Rock : ROCK.   and a bit of rap
Relationship or One-night stand : Relationship.
School or Work : School.
Love or Money : Love.
Movies or Music : Music.
Country or City : City.
Sunny or Rainy days : Both.
Friends or Family :true friends that are as close as family, family that are also my friends  =)

- Have You Ever -
Lied : Sure.  (shifty  eyes....)
Stole something :  criminal record
Smoked : nope    i luv mah lungz
Hurt someone close to you : Yes.
Broke someone's heart : Yes.
Had your heart broken : Yes.
Wondered what was wrong with you : Yes.
Wish you were a prince / princess : erm....
Liked someone who was taken : Yes.    *sob*
Shaved your head : considering
Been in love : Yes.
Used chopsticks : Yes.
Sang in the mirror to yourself : .....privately.....

- Favourites -
Flower :  lots!
Candy : erm   does chocolate count?
Song : Varies
Scent : I can't describe it  = =    words fail me
Color : currently green....and soft orange ^^
Movie : Comedy 
Singer : Varies
Word : Varies too
Junk food : Potato Chipz!
Website :Kongregate and my blog   =)
Location : anywhere that's fun!
Animal : Dogs  Rabbits     etc.
Ever cried over someone :  I couldn't help it     *sob*
Is there anything you wish you could change about yourself : lots of things
Do you think you're attractive : not so.....
If you had to choose a fairytale as your life what would you choose :  errr....Nutcracker?
Do you play any sports : sure....during p.e.    0_O

- The Rules -
Link to your taggers and post these rules.
List eight random facts about yourself and tag eight people.

Okay, here goes my "eight random facts" :1. I dream a lot! Overactive Imagination  2. I want to improve on my french horn playing~ 3. I have a psycho laugh  4. Love reading! ----> stuff like Sandra Brown Stephen King Jeffrey Archer   5. Love music  6. Always buying clothes that are meant for guys.....that's because guys clothes have cool designs!!! ><  7. Have a weird form of OCD and also very paranoid... see you in a padded cell   8. Weirdly sentimental and can become very emo....

- Tags -
1. My Solipsistic Sis
2. All of J2M   ( create blogs, all of you!!!  XD)
 
4. Kuan Sai     (specially requested   lalala)
5. Ta Hsien     (specially requested   lalala)
6. people I know.... 
7. Ryan Higa?
8. everyone else

and hey, 3 is missing   =]

Depressed

So...I've started going to band practice again [after said food poisoning]

and the 管艺杯---> inter-school comp for brass bands   thingy

is next week!!

no pressure?I just found out today how the competition goes:

1) there's a set piece (Die Fledermaus in this case  =] ) 

2) and each group goes against the same group from another school   i.e. our horns VS their horns

3) each person must play an excerpt from the song

4) !!!!!

so it's like an individual-group catergory???    (?!)

anyways according to my officially retired group leader Joyce my tone quality is quite bad.

agreed.

the only thing left to do is??? more practice I guess

I feel really useless and stuff 'cause I think that I'm letting her down

sometimes I get the feeling that I practice and practice...in the end it leads to what? deteriorating tone quality?

*sob*

I'm practicing like mad now... I guess you can call it 临时抱佛脚

sorry my dear group leader!! I will do my best!  

May the best band win   >=]

MIA

I have just recovered from the worst bout of food poisoning I have ever encountered in all my years of existing.

Shan't elaborate, but to cut it short I spent the past week vomiting and diarrhea-ing.

'nuff said.

being sick really opened my eyes (metaphorically since the windows of my soul were dilapidated  ><)  as I realized how much of my holiday has gone

time flies when you're having fun?

which actually makes me annoyed at those people who complain about how they have nothing to do during the holidays: 'i hate the holidays!' 'i wish the holidays are over' 'like, sick to death of this like, so totally boring holidays'

get a life, people

just because your holidays are spent sleeping and eating etc other non-productive activities, just spare us busy, living life to the fullest people from listening to the drivel coming out of your mouth (metaphorically since literally would mean vomit?)

!!!!

aihz

2009 is ending

have I treasured it?    

                                      

Navigational Error~ The Rebel of the Swimming Apparels

Today I went swimming, something which I haven't been doing since forever

One of the main reasons I decided to get off my butt and jump into the big pool of H2O in the middle of the rain is not only because of exercising, i.e. losing weight

but also because I wanted to try out...

...

my new swimming cap ^^

(which was what the hairdresser said I should get before my current grass-like hair becomes even more grass-like than it is now)

soooo to cut a long story short it took me an unplanned really long time to get that stupiiiid cap on my head

and also to convince my sis to unglue her hands from her Meg Cabot novel to accompany me

to cut a longer story short, by the time we got there it was raining and my goggles snapped, and both our swimming caps came off and our hair got wet

thus -----> The Rebel of the Swimming Apparels

lolz, anyway it was still fun, laughing in the rain

I realized my swimming skills (the little scraps that I originally possessed anyways) have practically disappeared due to lack of practice

example:

as I was swimming back 

I actually swam at a 90 degree angle

meaning:

I swam straight ahead for a little while, then somehow managed to end up at the side of the pool.

Wicked

Navigational Error

must be the goggles   o_O

band prac

26/11's band practice was...well...indescribable

it was a normal band practice after all

in fact it was quite boring because we've had a grand total of 20% attendance

and I had to like...take practice (the beginning) 

maybe I was nervous because of that

anyway the only highlight was the appearance of my lovely group leader Ms Koh~

yeap...that was about the fun part of it

and also eating lunch with xiao jun (no.1!!)  xiao mei xiao ru xiao wei xiao yan...  o0

and playing Uno H2O 

and Die Fledermaus + ATPA

***********

band

***********

nothing to worry about

***********

or is there?

Anxiety

Something's  wrong My arms are shaking uncontrollably I can't relax Feeling lightheaded And also really hot and flushed And I've completely refrained from using punctuation marks Not to mention making some serious typos due to reasons above What's happening it only started around 10 pm Due to many years of experience I think I'm either a) sick or b) really really nervous

And it's really weird because the only thing I'm nervous about is 

BAND PRACTICE TOMORROW

And it becomes weirder because

why should I be nervous of 1 band practice???

It's not the typical 'taking-your-report-card-with-your-parents-on-report-card-day' nervousness It's 'unexplainable-hungry-at-weird-intervals-hot-flushes-weird-arm-shaking-lalala-can't-really-elaborate' nervousness

omg omg omg omg

**************

hope nothing goes wrong in band practice tomorrow

*************************

:(  unease

~Fangirl~

双人舞
You wanna say love love love love love love
And baby girl i say okay okay
身体贴紧我 用体温做回答
看你眼里 有一句话 和我的一样吗
那就是Love love love love love love
And baby girl i say okay okay
真实的触感 爱不只是童话
就深深坠入 双人舞步里 彼此慢慢欣赏
有点烦闷吧 浪漫被公式化
有些爱 加点刺激 更多想象
你也在期待吗 兴奋和我一样
把甜蜜 洒满一地 放纵一下
Oh每个毛细孔 划过你的指甲
Oh温柔的触碰 不安静的心房
Hot hot baby we can set it off the night
双人舞 黑暗里 无法自拔
You wanna say love love love love love love
And baby girl i say okay okay
身体贴紧我 用体温做回答
看你眼里 有一句话 和我的一样吗
那就是Love love love love love love
And baby girl i say okay okay
真实的触感 爱不只是童话
就深深坠入 双人舞步里 彼此慢慢欣赏
有点无聊吧 规律的像打卡
有些爱 多点尝试 才有变化
你也在期待吗 兴奋和我一样
碰撞的电流就像烟火绽放
Oh耍一点疯狂 拨乱你的头发
Oh换一个场景 沙发或是厨房
Hot hot baby we can set it off the night
双人舞 黑暗里 无法自拔
You wanna say love love love love love love
And baby girl i say okay okay
身体贴紧我 用体温做回答
看你眼里 有一句话 和我的一样吗
那就是Love love love love love love
And baby girl i say okay okay
真实的触感 爱不只是童话
就深深坠入 双人舞步里 彼此慢慢欣赏
love love love love love love
okay okay
用体温做回答
有一句话 和我的一样吗
那就是Love love love love love love
okay okay
爱不只是童话  
就深深坠入 双人舞步里 彼此慢慢欣赏

Love love love love love love

最近迷上了潘玮柏!

帅~~~

 

of nuts and guilt

These few days I've completely exhausted myself~

from behaving as lazy as I dare to be

for the past few days I've been watching TV for more than 4 hours (the horror!!!)

and also pigging out on nuts------> cashews and almonds

omg... I can't believe myself

After every pig-fest I always feel really guilty.... [shifty eyes]

Think it's time to go back to work~!

两艘孤独的小船，找到同一个避风港，那就是友谊...

谢谢你

谢谢你在我最伤心的时候出现

谢谢你在期末考时陪我熬夜...跟我一起拼

(结果考出的成绩比我好)

期末考时，我刚好受到了打击，对朋友，友谊失去信心，

不过，却遇到了你

讲真的，你让我重新体会到友谊的滋味

讲得有点肉麻~

谢谢你，

晚上跟我一起聊天

你让我上瘾了电脑游戏...不懂那是好事坏事

但

你真的帮了我很多

我很庆幸...遇到了像你那么好的朋友

希望我们的友谊稳久

怨

中午的时候要出去逛街啦

我换好走街的衣服但不懂为什么死头发不能好好绑好 (3个好~)

再加上父母在下面喊我了

就匆匆忙忙地全部首饰+绑头发的东西 丢进包包

在车上绑咯

结果忘了腰带，整个服装就少了一个很重要的点缀

真扫兴

看着车镜的自己，突然觉得自己很丑

唉

每个人应该是酱的啦

自己也改变不了...本来就是酱的啦...除非去整容~

要爱自己的样子

至少五官都有

love yourself.... > w <

一个蛮没有重点的post 哈哈

Insomnia and CCF

It's officially a new day although the sun hasn't risen yet

I'm supposed to be snoring happily in bed but instead here I am blogging

(Yes it's the 4th post I've posted in one day~ must be some kind of record)

Anyway according to my exalted father...We----> my mum and I...and maybe sis if she's not studying for spm 

must get up early tomorrow (or rather later) to eat CCF!

that's *chee cheong fun* *猪肠粉* for non-malaysians or noob-malaysians-who-can't-abbreviate 

Maybe that's what's keeping me up 

'Cuz I keep thinking of the delicious brown sauce they pour on the CCF and the way the fucuk and taufupok (*o*) and taufu stuffed with fish paste soaks up the sauce and it sorts of melts in your mouth...

Yummy =P

Now I even more wide awake  (wider awake??----> correct me if I'm wrong)

And drooling

8 more hours...

发夹 篇

刚刚洗澡的时候...跌破了一个发夹...

它没什么特别...它只是两种绿色的塑料由一条金属线绑起来的中型发夹...却让我感到一阵伤心涌上心头...

应该是想起最近发生的事情吧

一个完美的发夹...碎成两片毫无关系的绿色塑料...

就像稳久的友谊...变成两个陌生的人...

一个发夹竟然令我联想到那么多东西...

再加上强力胶完了

~New Ventures~

Well, since it's the holidays, I've decided not to just lie around and rot...

Instead I feel like lying around, rotting and writing blogs

Hopefully it'll be a fun thing to do...like dota lolz ^^

who knows? maybe I'll continue blogging next year...